{Written mid-November, 1880, at Lahore}
{Hume had written to K.H. on October 17, proposing that instruction be given to Sinnett and himself independently of H.P.B. and the T.S. The reply arrived November 1 (see First Letter of K.H. to A. O. Hume; also Old Diary Leaves 2:242-3). Meanwhile, H.P.B. and Olcott left Simla October 21 for a long tour in the Northwest Provinces. At Amritsar they met K.H. who had come at H.P.B.'s cry of distress (see ML 4). Olcott had indiscreetly allowed to be published in an Anglo-Indian paper a letter from him describing a day at Simla, giving the names of several prominent Englishmen as having certified to the genuineness of the phenomena. At Lahore H.P.B. was taken desperately ill with Punjabi fever, complicated by nervous exhaustion that, for a time, both her reason and her life were despaired of. See Occult World, ODL 2:255-66.}
Dear Boss,
I am afraid I begin a task above my strength. But if I do not yet peg out I am determined to fight my way through and never leave one chance to my enemies to bother me. This is why I begged you to publish a few words in reply to a stupid and vile insinuation (and far better if it could be done in the shape of three or four lines in the Pioneer 1st page).
In Bombay Gazette Nov. 6 it is said that "A correspondent of the Englishman throws another ray of light upon the occultism at Simla. He says: In all the correspondence about the T.S. I do not think it has yet been mentioned that Mme B. is the correspondent of a Russian newspaper. A series of letters have appeared in the Anti-English newspaper the Moscow Gazette . . . purporting to be written from India by a lady member of the T.S. who signs herself Ruddha-Bai. The letters are headed "from the caves and forest-valleys of India." The writer could not well have been other than Mme B. The snake tiger of India enchanted stories narrated in those letters are entirely theosophical and steeped in occultism."
To this it is that I answered a few lines remarking that the only light which this fact (of my being the correspondent of a Russian newspaper however Anti-English) — could ever throw upon the Simla phenomena was that of the possibility of some new hallucination on the part of the Govt. of India — perhaps a suspicion that it was the secret Russian political spies who were my confederates. That I never made a secret of my being a correspondent for the Russian newspapers none of which ever was but Anti-English (I would like to find one which is not!) or writing under the nom de plume of Radha Bai. And that so little was it a secret that in my last letter to the Russian papers from Simla it was from some of the officials themselves that I got the needed information etc. (You know about Ramchundra.)
This it was I sent to you fervently begging you to print it, for I was anxious to break the head of at least one of my idiotic enemies. To this K.H. remarked that it was far better if I should let you write a few words as an editorial remark upon the foolish para: (above cited). I said — no. I knew you did not like to be asked to write, besides my writing would be better and more appropriate. So I sent to you this. But it appears that he need have his own way. For how could my letter be lost otherwise? It was Mah. K. H. who played some trick of his only because he is wise and strong and healthy and I foolish and now weak and sick. I do not hold it as friendly on his part. If I am so useless and foolish why don't they annihilate me? The doctor (Laurie) won't permit me to start tomorrow. He advises me though to change locality. Strong nervous disease, fever and etc. he says. Oh I have enough of this old carcase!
Love to both of you
Yours quand meme
H. P. Blavatsky.
Spirit is strong but flesh is weak; so weak sometimes that it even overpowers the strong spirit "which knows all truth." And now, having almost shaken off its control this poor body raves. Since even I am not above suspicion in her sight, you can hardly be too indulgent or use too many precautions until this dangerous nervous crisis is passed. It was brought on by a series of unmerited insults (which of course such men as you and Col. Olcott would not have even noticed but which none the less put her to the torture) and can be cured only by rest and peace of mind. If you are ever to learn any lesson about man's duality and the possibility through occult science of awakening from its dormant state to an independent existence the invisible but real I am, seize this chance. Observe and learn. It is cases like this which puzzle the biologist and physiologist. But as soon [as] one learns this duality all becomes as clear as day. I am sorry to say I can now only act thro' her upon very rare occasions and under the greatest precautions. Mr. Hume's letter to her, a letter full of suspicion and benevolent insult — proved the "one drop too much." Her Punjab fever — once the typhoid symptom removed is no worse in itself than many a European has passed through; while I may tell you now that the crisis is over — her reason as well as her life were in peril on Saturday night {Nov. 20}. As for myself you must always believe me your true and sincere friend.
KOOT HOOMI LAL SINGH.
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or Blavatsky Letter 204
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